You get up in the morning and have seven internal conversations about the best breakfast combination before you reach your kitchen. Then spend a good five minutes debating what you think you should have and what you actually want. You get hungry again at 10am and eat an apple (good choice), but are then STARVING five minutes later so you look in your bag for something else to eat…
Then eye up the snack machine… “NO NO NO…maybe I could just…” Lunch comes and the stress of going to a café with a work colleague is almost too much to bare. You eat too much, you spend the remainder of the day thinking about all that exercise you will do when you get home to burn it off. You get in exhausted, your other half puts a pizza in the oven and you decide that you are destined to be overweight forever. You go to bed thinking about all the food you are NOT GOING TO EAT the next day. You might even make a list of them.
Sounds familiar? It does for me, as I have been here: the energy of my day was often spent thinking about how little I was going to eat or how I was only going to eat chicken and yoghurt or whatever my diet was at the time. It was EXHAUSTING and relentless. The more I failed at controlling my food, the more focus and energy I would give it… sometimes being so determined is not a good thing!
When something isn’t working, you don’t always need to do more of it, instead try something different! I decided not to plan so much (scary, right?) and to focus on buying healthy food that I would be happy eating most of the time. I don’t eat out that much so I decided that when I do go out, I’ll eat what I like (which, without any pressure, is sometimes a healthy option). It felt so different to have treats occasionally and not hide or feel ashamed about it: OH, TO BE BOLDLY BALANCED! And so positive feelings about ALL foods were born…
Over time, I’ve naturally spent less energy and time worrying about food. Food is something I eat to live, not something my life revolves around. Feed your brain and body with things that make you feel good – read books, see friends, watch documentaries, write a blog, exercise, walk, enjoy the garden, etc. This will nourish you much more than a strict food plan ever will. If you are already nourished in this way, then you are much less likely to comfort eat, binge on alcohol and so forth. Food is then not filling in the gaps or relied upon for momentary happiness. Is good food pleasurable? Of course! But it shouldn’t be your main source of happiness.
Commit to making yourself a life that prioritises your happiness. Commit to eating well and nourishing your body. When you have a car, you don’t spend 80% of your time thinking about the petrol, you consider all the places it will take you and all the adventures you will have! Eat good food in moderate portions, exercise regularly and then crack on with the rest of your life – it is all there waiting for you!
As always Victoria, you speak good sense and I completely get your point. For those of us who have struggled with food use (comfort),it can feel so lonely and brings pain and guilt shortly after the first MOUTHFULs. Freedom does come from adjusting the focus onto (As you say), eating to live, giving you the energy to engage in other nourishing activities.